SB

A.K.A. Old Chicago’s World Beer Tour: Session 10

It’s been nearly a month since my last session, but that’s wasn’t quite long enough for me to forget my mission to finish off Germany. Last time I knocked out the first three of Deutschland’s alcoholic representatives (+ Foster’s) which left me with four. Unfortunately three of these were awful and one was mediocre. Not the best night in the world for beer.

Beer 37: St. Pauli Girl

Okay, I have to admit: I honestly thought this was going to be either a not-really-beer beer or something extremely mild like Dos Equis given that “Girl” was in the title. Turns out it’s named because of the girl on the label. Also turns out it’s one of the worst goddamn things I’ve ever drank in my life. Every sip made me die a little bit on the inside and I swear I said “I want to kill myself” at least two or three times throughout trying to choke this shit down. At the time, death seemed like a more bearable option than finishing St. Pauli Girl.

Beer 38: Warsteiner

Alright, so the first one sucked. No big deal. I always pick a horrible first beer. Turns out that after a pretty calm first session in Germany they had decided to put all the f*cking terrible German beers right next to each other on the second half of the list. While it can’t trump St. Pauli Girl for bad taste, Warsteiner is still not something I’d ever, ever care to drink again. It was more really, really weird than flat out horrible.

Beer 39: Spaten Specialty

By this point I had completely lost faith in Germany to the point that I very much did not want to continue. But it was just a matter of two more beers and I’d be free of them until at LEAST October (assuming there might be an Oktoberfest mini-tour). So I hesitantly ordered the next beer on the list, preparing for the worst. Taking a sniff, the smell seemed to verify my fears, but after a quick swig it turned out it was actually a very “meh” beer. Still far from good, but compared to the other two it was a godsend.

Beer 40: Warsteiner Dunkel

Spaten gave me hope that the final might be equally passable, but there was no such luck. This was like Warsteiner mixed with Guinness, and while I love Guinness, Warsteiner was some weird shit. For anyone keeping tabs, this is the third miss of the night and I think calling Spaten a “hit” would be a pretty extreme stretch, so all in all tonight was not the best night for my palet.

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Disclaimer: I make NO claim to be a beer connoisseur. I’m not judging based on being able to taste “this level of wheat” compared to “this thickness of foam” or whatever people that know things about beer care about. I don’t care about any of that. This is just based on how it tastes to me.

My DVD collection is like my baby. I can tell you where, why, and when I got nearly every single title in my collection. Don’t believe me? Test me.

The last time I did a Five Gems list I went with DVD’s I own that most people haven’t seen, haven’t heard of, or didn’t realize were on DVD. This time I’m focusing on five of my most watched DVD’s – the movies that have earned their money’s worth above and beyond just about everything else in my collection. These are the titles that become an immediate temptation to watch if I so much as read the spine while I’m glancing over my shelves of DVD’s.

One rule: No repeats from the last Five Gems (sorry Hackers).

5. Planet of the Apes (1968)

First time I saw it: When I was about 11, I think. It’s first true classic movie Ispecifically  remember watching with my dad from beginning to end. Just me and him.*

When did I buy it? Last Tuesday for $10 at Best Buy in Wilminton, NC.

Why is it awesome? I know it might seem a little premature to be adding this to the list when I’ve only owned it a week, but let’s try to put this in perspective: In the six days I’ve owned it, I’ve watched it four times (once normal, three with various commentaries), and I’ve watched a two hour documentary and an extra hour of old featurettes/TV specials.  When I was wrapping things up with the DVD, all I had left were the trailers. As I was watching the trailers I got a sudden urge to rewatch the entire movie again. While I was able to fight it off this time, I’m sure it’s a pretty solid sign of things to come in the future. I love this movie. Full review coming soon.

4. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

First time I saw it: In theaters at the mall in Orlando.

When did I buy it? The day it came out on DVD at Wal-Mart in Orlando, FL for around $25.

Why is it awesome? I love movies, but I also love music. Typically, it’s not possible to fully enjoy these two loves simultaneously, so I have to cheat on one for the other like the media whore I am. But occasionally, there’s a musical that I really like which, should the mood strike, is the entertainment equivalent of a threesome. Sweeney Todd is my go-to musical because the excessive violence allows me to watch it without feeling the slightest bit emasculated (and while I enjoy Hairspray and Rent, the same can definitely not be said for either).

3. The Karate Kid

First time I saw it: I’m really not sure. On video when I was a little kid, over and over again.

When did I buy it? Costco in Orlando, FL in 2007 for $7.50.

Why is it awesome? The Karate Kid is easily my favorite 80’s movie. It’s an underdog story with more than one montage and layers of cheesy music. The guy gets a girl that’s way out of his league and a magical Japanese man teaches him how to beat up the biggest jerk in school. There isn’t a single thing I don’t like about this movie. Ask me if I’m in the mood to watch it; the answer will inevitably be “Yes”.

2. Jaws

First time I saw it: On television when I was eight and it permanently scared me away from the ocean.

When did I buy it? March 7, 2007 Best Buy in Orlando for $15.

Why is it awesome? Yes, I didn’t own my own copy of this until my 20th birthday, but once I got it I immediately watched it more than most people have probably seen it in their lifetime. It now stands as my favorite movie of all time, completely uncontested. I’m sure most people wouldn’t think of this as a good movie to flip their mood, but for me, it’s a reminder of everything I desperately wish I could become. Spielberg is a god among men and I will watch this movie at any given moment. For a full breakdown, go here.

1. The Lion King

First time I saw it: In theaters in Richmond, Indiana.

When did I buy it? Early 2008, Orlando Flea Market for $30.

Why is it awesome? This past February I loaned my copy of Jaws to someone and still haven’t managed to get it back from them. In the meantime, The Lion King has become my go-to “turn the bad feelings into good feelings” DVD drug, and the longer I’ve been at my call center job the more times I’ve desperately needed this to get me back on the ground after a shitty day. For a more detailed explanation, go here.

Fun fact: I was crying during the “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” scene and my mother assumed it was because I thought the scene was sad. It was actually because I was seven years old and had bit my fingernail so low that it was bleeding and it hurt.

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*Yes, I realize “He and I” would be proper but I also think it completely ruins the sentiment in that particular section.

Almost weekly I get a day off work in the middle of the week in exchange for working Saturday. This is called a comp day. This is also slowly becoming my official DVD Buying Day. Believe it or not, sometimes I like to watch movies without writing two pages essays on them, but I hate the idea of buying a bunch of new (or used) DVD’s and not even getting one blog post out of it.

And thus we have Comp Day Minis.

Fourth Edition: Tuesday, June 2nd Purchases

All of these are typically between $20-25 since they’re all 2-disc special editions, but, like the DVD buying pro that I am, I found them all for roughly $10 apiece. I win.

1. The Shawshank Redemption: Two-Disc Special Edition

I watched this for the first time a couple month’s ago as part of a semi-weekly movie-trade with my good friend Lauren (aka Improbable Fiction). I loved it, as everyone should. For my full review go here.

2. The Green Mile: Two-Disc Special Edition

I watched The Green Mile for the first time on Saturday, decided it had immediately jumped into my Top 50 of All Time and then decided to buy it as soon as I could find it for a good price. Fortunately, Amazon had this 2-Disc set on sale for $11. For my ridiculously long full review go here.

3. Planet of the Apes: Two-Disc 35th Anniversary Collector’s Edition

Not to be confused with Tim Burton’s “remake” (and I’m using that term as lightly as humanly possible), the original Planet of the Apes is one of the first true classics I ever remember watching with my dad. I’ve been meaning to buy this for a long, long time, but between my refusal to pay full price for old movies and the general difficulty of finding this definitive version regardless of price standards, I didn’t get around to it until now. I’m very, very happy to have this in my collection.

4. The Abyss: Two-Disc Collector’s Edition

I saw first saw The Abyss sometime around last November at the tail-end of the month after I had finished catching up on all the Spielberg I had missed over the past 40 years. James Cameron seemed like the easiest director to play catch-up on next, and The Abyss didn’t disappoint. I’m not sure why I didn’t write a full review at the time, but expect one sometime this month.

5. Alien vs. Predator Unrated: Two-Disc Collector’s Edition

Let’s play a game called “Which of these doesn’t belong?” It’s like an SAT question. Did you figure it out? No, not Planet of the Apes. That’s actually a highly respected movie. Of course it’s not Shawshank, that goes hand in hand with The Green Mile. Okay, before you embarass yourself: It’s Alien vs. Predator.

Yes, I realize this isn’t a “good” movie, but I love the Alien franchise and I was going to have to buy this sooner or later because of that. Since the price hasn’t dropped below $7.50 since it came out – and that’s for the PG-13 cut only – I figured I might as well go ahead and pick this up while I could. I’m curious to see how the Unrated version might improve things since this is one franchise that has NO place being PG-13 to begin with.

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So, that’s my haul. I’m planning on trying to take June at least a LITTLE bit slower than May which set a record (for months that aren’t October) as the most posted month with 31 posts for the month. This month is going to have a lot of DVD watching, so the main thing you can look for are expanded reviews for The Abyss and Planet of the Apes as well as many of this summer’s blockbusters as I can make it to theaters for.