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Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World’s Worst Dog

(Published 2005; 289 pages)

The same day we picked up You’re a Horrible Person, But I Like You, we chose Marley & Me as one of the other titles from Barnes and Noble’s Buy 2, Get 1 Free selection. The movie version was the first movie we ever watched together, so it only seemed fair to read the original material. Dogs have played a central role in our relationship literally since Day One. The day I picked up Daisy was the first time Laura and I ever hung out outside of work. What started as a friendship with a co-worker progressively became far more until I was head over heels for the first time in my life, and I had Daisy to thank.

The book serves a dual purpose as a biopic for an A.D.D. Labrador with a minimally hidden biopic about the author and his wife’s first 15 years of marriage right under the surface. Given that Daisy is half-lab, a lot of the descriptions of Marley’s personality and behavior sounded close to home: the boundless energy, the appetite for destruction, the constant need for attention. The biggest difference is that Daisy’s 35-pound weight she got from her cocker-spaniel side makes her slightly less of a force to be reckoned with. Watching Marley and his bad habits grow into a 97-pound beast is like watching a tropical storm morph into a hurricane right as it hits the shore. The stories keep all attention with minimal effort as the “What’s going to happen next?” curiosity lingers stronger than a Smallville season finale cliff-hanger.

As Marley aged, our desire to continue slowed down and we prepared for the inevitable ending by avoiding it. We had seen the movie, and even before we had seen the movie we had heard the tear-jerker horror stories just like everyone else has. As I’ve mentioned many times before, our book club is a little different from other book clubs in that we ONLY read out loud to each other. For the first 250 pages of Marley and Me, this was awesome. The way the book is written is PERFECT for reading out loud as John Grogan tells the stories from a first person perspective like a father relaying old tales to his children. We spent the majority of the book laughing as I read Grogan’s perfectly told memories aloud.

Then we got to page 256* and I stopped. This wasn’t even THE moment. It was just the realization that Marley, this dog that wasn’t even ours but had made us laugh for hours nonetheless, was nearing his end. I tried my hardest not to cry. I’m the man of the house; I wasn’t allowed to cry over the impending death of a dog I don’t even know. I paused, thinking I just needed to catch my breath and swallow, then tried to continue to no avail. I paused again. I was NOT going to cry. It’s just a book. This dog was like 8,000 years old in dog years. Still, after a third attempt, a tear rolled down my cheek, and I apologized as Laura kindly took the book from me to finish the chapter.

Laura didn’t have the pride barrier that prevented her from reading and crying at the same time, and she read the rest of the book as we cried together over the loss of a pet that we had never even petted.

Marley & Me is a beautiful book that every dog lover should read, but reading it out loud to your pup’s other parent might not be the best strategy. Buy it, love it, then if you don’t already have a dog (or three) go to the shelter and rescue one. All three of our babies are rescues, and even though they’re incredibly trying at times (particularly Daisy), the extra dose of love and happiness a dog can bring into your life makes the ups well worth the downs.

Mine came with the added bonus of the perfect woman.

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*of the 2008 paperback “New York Times #1 Best Seller” reprint

You’re a Horrible Person, but I Like You by Various Authors

(Published 2010; 216 pages)

One paragraph review: This book consists of sarcastic advice columns written by nearly 50 of today’s best comedians. The advisers range from popular comedy directors like Harold Ramis to Daily Show correspondents to well-known stand-up comedians and actors such as Michael Ian Black and Aziz Anzari. Some writers aren’t as funny as others, but generally speaking, the book had us laughing out loud nearly the entire time. If you want a hysterical coffee table book or something to read your significant other in the car, don’t hesitate to pick it up. It is awesome. (Be warned the content can get R rated on occasion.)

Now for a long diatribe about the purchasing of this book that I wrote before realizing this wasn’t even remotely turning into a review:

I’ve always been about the bargain buys, so the cheap shelves are always the first ones we hit up whether we’re shopping for DVD’s or books. The main reason for this with books is that we’re fans of instant gratification, and while Amazon can match Barnes and Noble’s SALE price immediately on practically any title, there’s something about bookstores and getting to walk out with your purchases that makes it worth the extra price. While our bookstore-only mentality results in completely random purchases such as the one above, my cheesy sentimental side has turned Barnes and Noble into one of my Top Ten favorite places in the world.

As e-books rise in popularity, I hope and pray that the hard copy will never die. Maybe this is just further evidence of my shocking level of materialism, but it’s important to me to be able to display my awesome collection of things in their full glory. Honestly, it’s not even for other people so much as it is just for me. The DVD collection is kept in the “study” where Laura and I are practically the only people that see it. Maybe I just want physical proof of where I all my money goes.

Regardless of the reasoning, I don’t see books or movies ever reaching the point that music has. With my enormous MP3 collection, it’s totally probable that I’ll want to listen to Jack’s Mannequin immediately after the Beatles and follow that up with some John Mayer, but I don’t foresee the same train of thought ever applying to movies or especially to books. I’m one of the slowest readers on the planet, and Laura and I take turns reading out loud to each other to allow for maximum conversation opportunity, so a book takes us at least a week to read.

If we could read a book a day and e-book piracy were at all appealing due to the massive amounts of money it would save, MAYBE a $400 e-reader would make sense, but with our one book per month average (maybe 1.25), there’s simply no way to justify paying $400 extra when e-books are only minimally cheaper than hard copies.  Given that the only scenario we would be able to read even one book per week revolves around us winning the state lottery that we don’t play, it’s basically never going to be worth it to buy a Kindle or Nook.

Plus, there’s something special about the way books smell; the feeling of turning an actual page instead of pressing a button. Now that I’ve gone all the way around the world on this bunny trail, the main reason this all started was to explain how we ended up with this book. While I never would have found You’re a Horrible Person in a million years on Amazon, the beauty of wandering aimlessly through an actual bookstore and investigating every book on the “Buy two, get 3rd free” table opens up a whole world of possibilities that resulted in us leaving with an advice book by stand-up comics, a cook book, and a dog’s biography. The kicker is that I was extremely excited about all three.

Real world > Internet.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

(Published 1999; 213 pages)

Dear friend,

A few weeks ago, Laura and I were in Barnes and Noble looking for a new book when we stumbled upon The Perks of Being a Wallflower. The name sounded familiar to both of us, but neither of us really had any clue what it was about. As we were reading over the back trying to figure it out, we couldn’t help but notice the MTV logo plastered on the bottom. Considering MTV hasn’t had anything worthwhile since around 2001, this was a bit of a red flag for us. After all, if MTV considers Jersey Shore a TV show worth watching, what does it really say for a book they deem worth reading? Not much. Fortunately, it turned out the reality was that we were about 11 years behind the rest of the world when I thought we were only 2 or 3. While 1999 wasn’t exactly MTV’s prime, I was only twelve years old at the time and I can still tell you it was way better than what the channel has become now in 2010.

The book is comprised of a series of fictional letters from the lead character Charlie to an unknown reader addressed only as “Dear friend”. The letters begin with Charlie’s first day of high school and runs through the end of his freshman year. The beginning started out rather macabre as Charlie detailed his best friend’s suicide as my fears of this being a depressing and/or whiny recollection of how difficult it is to be a teenager briefly spiked.

It’s not so much that I put myself above teenage melodrama because I was guilty of whining my way through puberty just like most American teens seem to. It’s mostly that in hindsight I’m so embarrassed by the high-school thought process that I wasn’t really interested in reliving it again through someone else. Fortunately, aside from a chapter here and there, I was relieved to realize that wasn’t the point of The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Charlie has an unusual voice for a fifteen year old as he somehow manages to recount his day to day drama with very minimal complaint. The thing that struck me as odd throughout this is not that he sounded wise beyond his years so much as he sounded almost childishly unaware of just about everything he encountered. A lot of Charlie’s viewpoint seems to be closer to that of an extremely well-written ten year old, but based on some of the 15/16 year old’s that are on my Facebook newsfeed, I think this is preferable.

The story is set in the early 90s, and does a great job of referencing quality music, literature, and films in a way that makes you feel the excitement of discovery that comes with inundating yourself in such media. If Charlie reads a book or watches a movie or makes a mix CD, the excitement with which he talks about it is enough to make you want to make a list to check out out some of this stuff for yourself later.

The book’s strongest point is by far the cast of characters found in Charlie’s group of friends and family. Nothing about any of it feels too terribly stretched to force a false sense of interest. Everyone feels like someone you could know, and Charlie’s “10-year-old-going-through-15-year-old-experiences” perspective allows you to read non-judgmental descriptions of all events and participants. As the book’s title indicates, Charlie is merely a wallflower, and he describes the events as such, only occasionally giving his own input on an occurrence.

The book is a quick, easy read that never slows down thanks to the broad scope of topics from first love to homosexuality to teenage drug use. Though the beginning had me a little hesitant about what we had gotten ourselves into, once we got the ball rolling, our reading time superseded our TV show/movie time and became our nightly ritual three nights in a row until we were finished.

I’d give it a hearty seal of approval.

The Charlotte Epic is going to take a little longer than most trips because it was that epic. (Pictures taken in a dark room on a camera phone or taken from Chima’s website)

(Click here to start at the beginning)

(Click here to go back to Discovery Place)

Chapter 8 – Chima Brazilian Steakhouse

We completely skipped lunch on Day 2 for one reason, and one reason only: Chima Brazilian Steakhouse. As we’ve mentioned several times, Urban Spoon is our go-to website for restaurant recommendations and so far they’ve never let us down. The only time we’ve EVER been disappointed was the last time we decided to go to a Brazilian steakhouse in Virginia Beach and Urban Spoon actually gave us a very fair warning against that particular restaurant, but I was too blinded by the prospect of all-you-can-eat meat.

This time around, Charlotte’s take on Brazilian steakhouses was actually consistently ranked as one of the cities top two restaurants. Since the runner-up was an Italian restaurant, which isn’t particularly my favorite type of food, we decided The Charlotte Epic was as good a time as any to see if Charlotte knew how to do Brazilian-style serving right. They do.

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The Charlotte Epic is going to take a little longer than most trips because it was that epic. (Pictures by Brandy Davis and Laura Barney)

(Click here to start at the beginning)

(Click here to go back to Day 2, Part 1)

Chapter 7 – Discovery Place

When the Museum of Modern Art proved to be a questionable use of $8, we concluded the best way to combat a questionable spending decision was to make another spending decision regarding a second museum we knew nothing about. After all, the law of averages states eventually ONE of these museums has to be well worth the money, right? With that in mind, we headed a few blocks down the street to Discovery Place, a science museum for children.

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The Charlotte Epic is going to take a little longer than most trips because it was that epic.

(Click here to start at the beginning)

(Click here to go back to Chapter 3: Big Daddy’s Burger Bar)

Chapter 4 – Amelie’s

Chapter 5 – The Green

Chapter 6 – “Modern Art”

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The Charlotte Epic is going to take a little longer than most trips because it was that epic.

(Click here to start at the beginning)

(Click here to go back to Chapter 2: Part 2)

Chapter 3 – Big Daddy’s Burger Bar

A week before our trip, Seth sent me a text message telling me he just ordered something called a “Bacon Cheeseburger on Steroids”. As jealousy encompassed my soul, I got the name of the restaurant and added another thing to the to-do list. Laura vowed to help me fulfill it upon our next visit to Charlotte because she’s pretty much the best girlfriend ever.

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The Charlotte Epic is going to take a little longer than most trips because it was that epic.

(Click here to start at the beginning)

(Click here to go back to Chapter 2: Part 1)

Chapter 2 – Bamboozle Roadshow Part 2

So when I said “tomorrow” that technically qualifies as any day following the day you’re currently viewing the site, right? No? Well, I’m sorry, Little Miss Dictionary. I’ll try harder next time.

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The Charlotte Epic is going to take a little longer than most trips. Why? Because it was that epic.

(Click here to start at the beginning)

Chapter 2 – Bamboozle Roadshow

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Work is a punch in the face I get to endure five days a week that I’m hoping to correct eventually, but for now, I’m just glad it lets me live it up with Laura before, after, and on the weekends. (Pictures by Laura Barney and Brandy Davis)

May 22, 2010

A couple weeks ago we visited Charlotte by ourselves on a whim and had a great time exploring and celebrating my older brother’s birthday. We had been planning a trip for this past weekend for months, so while Charlotte’s Whim was an unexpected surprise, our return had the advantage of strategy, budget, and time. We knew exactly what we wanted to do, we had set aside the money to do it, and we had two full days to cram as much fun into a May weekend as we could. Our awesome friend Brandy had also come along for the ride, and since she’s pretty much one of the coolest people we know, it was a welcome addition to the party. Plus, it meant we had a backup photographer to make sure we captured every last detail.

Now that we had the crew, we just had to get there – a goal our GPS was determined to ignore. For some reason, everytime we drive to Charlotte our GPS decides we should go somewhere else around the half-way point and completely loses track of where we are/what dimension we’re in/how buoyant our car is.

As delicious as it sounds, we didn’t have any interest on going to Chicken Road. We had a show to get to, and the trip we had planned was already too epic to fit into one blog post without the GPS trying to take on Colonel Sander’s favorite detours.

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