improbable fiction

Last year I did an overview of Oscar Fashion. It was so much fun I am going to do it again (instead of homework). Luckily I had far more people on my best dressed/ good list than I had on my bad. So here we go!

Let’s start with the best dressed category of the evening.

This was probably the hardest category. There can only be one winner for best dressed male and female! After a lot (A LOT) of deliberation, my vote goes to:

Demi Moore and Zac Efron.

Demi’s Atelier Versache dress was SO beautiful; I was obsessed with it all night. At first, I didn’t even recognize her! The more they showed this dress, the more I fell in love with it. The color of the dress perfectly matched her skin tone, and the fit was stunning. I loved the bodice, and usually I am not a fan of the ruffles under the waist, but she really pulled it off. She didn’t overdo the jewelry, which really worked. Simply gorgeous. Zac Efron got a “HOLY FRICK” out of me, which means he stepped it up a notch from last year’s hair disaster. Not to go into too much detail (because my dad reads this blog- hi dad!) but that suit fit him NICELY. Good grief he is a hottie.

And now for the honorable mention best dressed:

Cameron Diaz and Tom Ford

Cameron looked shockingly beautiful in her Oscar de la Renta gown. I say shockingly because, for once, her hair, dress, jewelry and makeup all worked in her favor and she looked… put together. Also, she was missing the ever present gum that she is always seen chewing during awards shows. I was very surprised when she stepped onto the red carpet. I wish she could do this look always! And of course, Tom Ford looked beautiful in his own creation.

Rachel McAdams and Maggie Gyllenhaal

I think Rachel McAdams is one of the most beautiful women in all of Hollywood, and she looked so lovely in the lively Eli Saab dress. Her hair and makeup created the perfect ensemble. Maggie also went for a bolder pattern and looked beautiful. Maggie is always hit or miss for me (mostly miss) but I loved this Dries Van Noten gown the second I saw it.

Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds

Rounding out the best dressed honorable mentions are Sandra and Ryan. Sandra looked beautiful in her Marchesa gown. Her hair was quite lovely and her makeup was very natural looking which went well with her dress. And when does Ryan NOT look good?

Moving on, we come to the “Almost There” category:

Miley Cyrus and George Clooney

Miley’s dress was stunning….from the waist down. I feel like the designer (Jenny Packham) forgot to finish the top of the dress. Of course, Miley’s slouching posture didn’t help things. I think she could have made it work if she would have kept her shoulders up like a normal person. And I love me some George C, but come on. What was with his hair?

Zoe Saldona and Kate Winslet

Zoe’s Givenchy dress looks great from the waist up. And Zoe’s dress looks good from the waist down. But these two halves make a rather terrible whole. The color, however, looked beautiful on her! And Kate’s Yves Saint Laurent gown looked lovely, but I don’t particularly like the color of this dress on her skin tone and the semi-awkward waistline.

Anna Kendrick and Sarah Jessica Parker

Anna is beautiful and this Elle Saab gown is beautiful, but I feel as though the color washes her out. Yes, she wears it quite nicely, but I think it would have been pretty in a slightly darker hue. SJP is known for her outrageous dresses, and I must say I disliked this Chanel Couture at first. However, as the night progressed it looked better and I grew to semi-like it. I just think it has an awkward fit. It if was more fitted to her body, it would have looked fabulous!

Meryl Streep and Charlize Theron

Okay, now. I love Meryl Streep but I have always hated her outfits. They are dull, boring, and don’t fit her very well. This year’s Chris March gown was better than last, but I still wasn’t a fan. The white was lovely and fresh, but I didn’t really like the hemline. Charlize’s Dior Haute Couture dress definitely caused some controversy, but honestly I kind of like it! I think the roses are outrageous and thought they maybe should have been a band of roses around the waistline. But the fit is great and the color looked fantastic on her.

And finally we come to the Worst Dressed section. This year my pick for the absolute worst dressed is:

Vera Farmiga

Holy Frick this dress is horrid. I mean really, really horrid. The color looks beautiful on her, but then I’m like, what the frick is she doing wearing a fan? What is weird is this gown is made by Marchesa, as was Sandra Bullock’s gown. I wonder what went wrong. I just….words just can’t…. must. go. throw. up.

Worst dressed honorable mentions go to:

JLO and Diane Kruger

JLO is lovely, but this Armani Prive dress has a lot of…stuff going on. A lot of bad stuff. And I think Diane is absolutely beautiful, but this dress is a mess. I love the top, I love the ruffles, and I love the train, but I hate it all together. This dress has the potential to be simply stunning, but it ended up a mess.

Well there you have it. Feel free to let me know if you agree/ disagree with my choices! Or if I left some people off this list that you would have loved to see!

Last year I did an overview of the OSCARS…FASHION. I know the boys on Bullshish will cover the actual awards which leads me to believe that no one will give the fashionistas justice. Let’s, for a moment, review some of the highlights from last year.

We will start with the best dressed category of the evening.

Kate Winslet looked absolutely stunning in her Atelier Yves Saint Laurent (by Stefano Pilat) gown. From her hair to her dress to her jewelry- it was all very elegant. I loved the detailing of the dress, the back was quite beautiful, the fit was fantastic and she carried it well. Her makeup was very natural which is good, because some celebs tend to go overboard and look trashy.  Hugh Jackman looked quite dashing (when does he not) in his custom made three piece tux.

I know I am one of the very, very few, but I actually liked Miley Cyrus‘ Zuhair Murhad dress. This poor girl can’t win for losing. The fit was beautiful and she carried it well. I liked the layering and sparkle, and the belt added an interesting twist to the dress. Her hair was age-appropriate in a fun up-do. Her jewelry was a great accent and not overbearing. Overall I really liked it. Marion Cotillard took a big risk in this Haute Couture dress. And it worked for her. I liked it- the craziness from the waist down, the bodice from the waist up. Her hair was great too. She is beautiful- I loved the complete look.

Now lets get to the “almost there” category.

I don’t know what it was, but there was something about Freida Pinto’s John Galliano dress that I didn’t like. I actually can’t make up my mind if I liked it or not. I think it is the sheer overlay on the bottom. Although I do admit she is a beautiful woman and that color looked great on her. Reese Witherspoon is a beautiful person, and one of my favorite actresses. This is simply a case of an ill-fitting Rodarte gown. The colors are beautiful together and they look great on her, but the weird midsection and awkward “straps” do nothing for her fantastic figure. Her eyeshadow was pretty though.

And finally we find ourselves in the worst dressed category.

Hopefully I do not have to explain why Sophia Loren is the worst dressed of the night (wearing a gown by Armani). Mickey Rourke looked downright awful in his outfit. And just a little tip Mickey- there is this thing they sell in stores, called shampoo, and it will do wonders for your hair. You should try it out sometime!

Wellll here you have my look back at last year’s best and worst. I can’t wait for tonight; I really hope the gals bring it. If I had to pick “predictions” I would say Sandra is going to look stunning and Helen Mirren will be beautiful as always. I never really am a huge fan of Meryl Streep’s dresses, but she at least looks elegant. Penelope Cruz always has a beautiful gown and a great story to go with it, so I’m quite excited for that. Maggie Gyllenhaal is usually hit or miss, though she has been turning it out these past few months with premiers and whatnot, so who knows? I’m thinking (hoping) she will kick it up a notch tonight. But, of course, the most beautiful person to grace the Oscars will (undoubtedly) be…..Matt Damon. Duh.

Okay, before I begin this post I must address the cause of my absence-I was studying abroad in New Zealand for the entire month of January. While there I took a film class, and Heavenly Creatures was one of the required films we had to watch and answer questions about. While studying we stayed in Christchurch, the setting of the film, and went to the various set locations. Readers beware. This post contains spoilers.

I had heard of Heavenly Creatures before, but never actually seen it, so when my professor assigned it I was quite happy. The movie is about two young girls who meet in school and develop a deep connection with each other. When their friendship is torn apart by their parents, they plan their revenge. I knew of the story line, but I never knew this was actually based on a true story. Knowing that, when we went to the girls school, the original university, the Hulme’s house and the murder site, it took on a whole new (creepy) meaning.

I found this movie to be very well paced and I never experienced a dull moment. The storyline was very interesting and the subject of Pauline and Juliet’s relationship is something that is still widely discussed today. Were they just friends? Or was their relationship something more? Or were they just acting out the fantasy of Charles and Deborah? (Fee free to state your opinions in ze comments.)

I love, love, love Kate Winslet and she certainly does not disappoint in this movie. At first viewing I didn’t care for the way she handled the character; she seemed too over the top and quite annoying. But as the story continued I found that it was the only way to portray a character like that, as she and Pauline ARE over the top and CRAZY. Melanie Lynskey was just fantastic as Pauline. I was seriously scared of that girl and I was just watching her. No wonder she didn’t have friends at school! I would have stayed far, far away from that. (Completely random comment: I find it adorable that Melanie was the hand double for the infamous car scene in Titanic. Moving on…) Sarah Peirse was brilliant as Honora and I felt so badly for her! *tear* The rest of the cast was quite lovely as well.

Overall I loved, loved this movie, though I must admit I was rather sad to learn the fate of the girls at the end of the movie. Not because of what they did, but because they were forced to never see each other again. I know, I know, I probably shouldn’t feel that way because they, you know, MURDERED PAULINE’S MOTHER, but still. It made me sad. Basically, this movie was brilliant and you should see it if you haven’t.

Oh, and below are some of the pictures from the actual sites! Enjoy!

This was the high school the girls attended.

This was the Hulme's house, which is now the faculty center.

This was the back yard for the Hulme's house, where the girls spent a lot of time running through the woods and randomly taking thier clothes off.

Where the final scenes of the movie were shot. Quite creepy in the woods, so no pictures.

Yeah, I know. Bullshish is a place for movies. But I’ve been known to talk about books here and there, and I mean COME ON. I completed a New Years Resolution for like, the first time… EVER. At least that I can remember. So yeah. Enjoy.

Okay, okay, okay boys. Calm down. I know you dislike hate LOATH the Twilight series (well, I at least know Cal does). But I’m not ashamed to admit I really like the books. No, they aren’t my favorite works of literature by a long shot, and Harry Potter (underlined and italicized for book and movie) is way, way better, but I can’t lie. Twilight is my guilty pleasure. Notice how I underlined that. As in, Twilight the book. I’m going to go ahead and say the movie version SUCKED. A LOT. I laughed the majority of the movie and when I wasn’t laughing I was cringing at the terrible dialogue, and even more terrible acting.

Which brings me to New Moon. New Moon is my least favorite of the series. I cried sobbed wept like a little baby when I read it, so now I don’t read it, at all. I’m reading 50 books in one year and I completely skipped this one. So imagine how weary I was when I saw it come to the theaters! I said, “No!” and “Not I!” and “I will not spend my money on you, NEW MOON” (italics not because it is a movie, but because of my disdain). I also added in a bit of “I’ve been burnt by you before *cough*Twilight*cough* and I refuse to let you draw me in with your hot, shirtless, built, sexy, god-like guys.” (Sorry, got carried away. But not going to lie, that was me using restraint. This list could go on for a while.)

But I did. I went, and I saw it, and…I liked it. I KNOW! Crazy world we are living in. So in a sort of movie review, I’ve come up with five reasons why I liked it:

Reason 5: Jacob Black is back!

I like Jacob. I liked him in the books, and I really like him in the movie. And not just because he is shirtless over half of the movie (boys beware: this topic is likely to be mentioned again). Taylor Lautner is a really good actor; I was unsure about him in Twilight, but I think they just gave him some awkward lines. He had a major role in this movie, and I really like how he handled the character. Jacob can be annoying and a complete ass, but Taylor makes him humorous which makes him more endearing.

Reason 4: The acting improved

I mean, I don’t see anyone getting an Oscar any time soon, but overall the acting was much better than Twilight. I know it has a lot to do with the dialogue, as it was no where near as awful as it was in Twilight. However, there were some pretty terrible lines. And so many opportunities for “that’s what she said.” Within the first ten minutes one of the characters said something, I can’t even remember what, and it was so terrible I laughed really, really loudly. And no one else in the theater laughed with me. But I didn’t care, because I was laughing so much! And even though I hate and loath Kristen Stewart, I must admit she did better. I don’t know what it was, but she looked better in this movie too. I think by the time the fourth movie rolls around she might get the hang of this acting thing. Hopefully. Because the fourth book is CRAZY and she is going to have to step up her game. A lot. Other than her, Robert Pattinson still sucked. Everyone else was great!

Reason 3: Robert Pattinson was not in the majority of the movie.

Okay, somewhere my cousin is reading this and rolling her eyes. Because she does that every time I utter this sentence. But I’m serious! I don’t think Twilight sucked as much as I think it did, but I simply can’t watch it because of Robert. *And cue rant* I didn’t like him in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and I dislike him worse in Twilight. I don’t think he can act, and I don’t think he is even remotely attractive. Edward is supposed to be a god-like creature; someone girls all over the world would want to build statues of and worship. And they decided that the ONE GUY who could fit that description was…. Robert Pattinson? I just don’t get it. *end rant*

Reason 2: Jacob Black is shirtless!

How did you *not* know this was going to make the list? I guarantee you a lot of girls flocked to the theater for this reason, and this reason alone. I am not ashamed to admit I am one of these girls. Hi, my name is Lauren and I like Jacob Black with no shirt on. Sue me. It is my right as a lady. Also, when Robert Pattinson took off his shirt towards the end of the movie I was the ONLY person in the theater laughing hysterically. When you’ve been staring at Taylor the whole movie, Rob sort of… pales in comparison. (vampire joke! vampire joke!)

Reason 1: Mike Newton.

Okay, if you haven’t read the book or seen the movie, this one is totally lost on you. Mike Newton is amazing. Simply astounding. His character is so annoying in the book that you just want to hit him; and yet, you feel sorry for him because he just can’t seem to comprehend that Bella is forever going to be with Edward. Like the whole blood test scene in the science class (which was MUCH better in the book, as most things are). Or! Or my favorite scene from New Moon: when Mike Newton, Jacob and Bella all go to the movie and Mike Newton gets sick. I don’t know why, but I laughed really, really hard at that scene. I found it much funnier than it was supposed to be. And that was all I really wanted from this movie. You may take away Jacob betraying his best friend but you may NEVER take away Mike Newton!

I suppose, for the guys who are still reading this (to which I say, congratulations! I’m proud of you! Go get a cookie. Go ahead, I’ll wait….) I should insert an actual review of movie things. (That sentence right there should tell you this isn’t going to be a spectacular review of “movie things.”) I thought the special effects were good, but I don’t know; they could have been a little better? Sometimes the werewolves were realistic (as much as they could get) but sometimes they were really fake looking. The cinematography was really lovely and I actually did enjoy this movie. I wholeheartedly believe this movie was a zillion times better than Twilight, so if you can stand to, give this movie a chance.

Very recently the dear old Hollywood Foreign Press Association released the nominations for the Golden Globes. Now, usually I am all about the movies, and don’t get me wrong, I am THRILLED to see my dear, sweet, beautiful Matt Damon nominated TWICE! But there is something more pressing than the fact that Coraline should beat UP.

GLEE, one of my favorite new shows, has been nominated for FOUR awards. FOUR. A while ago, when Glee first debuted, I posted a little blog about why you should be watching it. (You can find that post here.) Now, that post was after viewing one episode, when the show was new to all of our minds. It was fresh! Exciting! A MUSICAL! And I loved it. After viewing the entire first half of the first season (the show didn’t think it was going to do well so they only filmed 13 episodes, ergo last week was the last of this half of the first season) I have my “complaints” mainly revolving around a boring baby storyline, but now that they have gotten all of that sorted out (sort of) I just sit alone, in my room, crying, begging it to come back.

In case you don’t know the plot line, allow me to give you a quick summary. Mr. Shuester is the high school Spanish teacher who takes over the school’s glee club. The glee club diva (and lead female vocal) that everyone loves to hate is Rachel Berry, who loves Finn, the male vocal lead. But Finn has a girlfriend, Quinn, who was the star of the cheer-leading squad (led by the ruthless Sue Sylvester) until she got knocked up by the hottie Puck, Finn’s best friend. But Puck and Quinn told everyone the baby daddy was Finn. The ongoing plot of the first half of the first season is getting enough people to join the glee club so they can go to sectionals.

Wow. Did you follow that? No? Just go watch the show. So the Golden Globes realized how awesome this show is, and nominated Glee for four awards:

Best Television Series- Comedy or Musical

Best performance by an actress in a television series- comedy or musical

Lea Michele- Rachel Berry

Best performance by an actor in a television series- comedy or musical

Matthew Morrison- Will Shuester

Best performance by an actress in a supporting role in a series, mini-series, or motion picture made for television

Jane Lynch- Sue Sylvester

Now, do I think Glee will come in and sweep out all the awards? No I do not. Yes, I would love for them to take them all, but I have my reservations. Also nominated for best series is that horrible 30 Rock show, and for some unknown reason the awards people love it. Why? I have no idea. I once watched two episodes so I could make a fair judgment and I disliked it so much I couldn’t even tell you what the episodes were about.

Next– Matthew Morrison. I just feel like whenever I want something to win at an awards show, it doesn’t. I mean, John Cryer over Neil Patrick Harris? Insanity. (Speaking of which, Neil is nominated! yay!) I don’t know if Glee is popular enough for Matthew Morrison to win over Steve Carell or that pesky Alec Baldwin. And the same with Jane Lynch. She is absolutely brilliant as the devil Sue Sylvester, but can she beat out the other women? I don’t watch any of the other shows nominated (not because I don’t want to, because I don’t even have time to post a bullshish blog let alone watch five hundred different TV shows).

The only category I feel confident is best actress. For those of you who do watch Glee, you have to admit. Lea Michele plays the perfect diva. Without her, there would be no glee club. Out of all the nominations I’m hoping Lea takes the award home. Since the internet is doing a good job taking down videos, I can’t actually show you her acting. But this clip alone should be reason enough to let the girl win an award:

Okay, so, please don’t take this as any sort of PREDICTION. These are just OPINIONS. I do not make predictions for awards shows. So for you Gleeks out there, do you think Glee stands a chance? Thoughts? Opinions? Predictions (if you do that sort of thing)?

So when CSI first started, I was there. I watched with baited breath as they apprehended criminals, I shouted at the television when they missed OBVIOUS clues only to see that it all worked out in the end. I loved this show so very much. This, of course, was CSI: LAS VEGAS. Back then it was just CSI: Crime Scene Investigation because there were no other ones on. Then the network got scared that other stations would adopt the idea and use different states, so they created CSI: MIAMI and hired a down and out David Caruso. Internet, my heart leaped with joy. I love, love, love CSI: MIAMI. Once I started college I had to quit watching it weekly because projects and tests and quizzes and my booming social life got in the way (those frequent trips to Disney didn’t help either). Then I moved to a new school and while I have friends, and a social life, there is no Disney or Downtown Disney to escape to. I find myself with a bit more free time. Watching TV one day I saw a commercial for the premiere of season eight of CSI: MIAMI. Season EIGHT! I stopped watching at the end of season four! So I decided to catch up on the seasons I missed.

Well, I went home this weekend and found myself with no new CSI: MIAMI to watch, which forced me to watch CSI: LAS VEGAS. And Internet, can I just say how much disdain I have for LAS VEGAS now that I have a borderline obsession with MIAMI? That is why I’ve decided to create this special list, just for you. It is a list of ten reasons why you should be watching MIAMI instead of LAS VEGAS. If you’ve never seen either, but maybe you want to watch an episode or two to see if you are interested, please read this and realize that you need to watch MIAMI. I’ve done all the necessary research, YOU’RE WELCOME.

Also, it should be noted that I did not care one little bit about CSI: NEW YORK, so don’t even consider that an option. And without further ado, here are the top ten reasons you should be watching MIAMI instead of LAS VEGAS:

10. Better looking cast.

This is number ten because it is the most superficial of all the entries on this list. But a nice looking cast is a plus for any show, and MIAMI definitely has the better-looking cast. The exception to the lackluster cast of LAS VEGAS is George Eads who plays Nick Stokes. That man is just…. more than exceptionally fine. The exception to the otherwise beautiful cast of MIAMI is, I hate to say, David Caruso who plays our main man (and my personal hero) Horatio.

We are CSI: LAS VEGAS. We are not that pretty!

We are CSI: MIAMI! We have awards for our beauty!

9. Closer, more supportive staff.

From the beginning of LAS VEGAS it seems as though Catherine is out for Grissom’s job, even if she has to move to the daytime team. At one point in the series the team actually splits into two separate teams, Catherine leading one and Grissom leading the other. I did not like this. The dynamic was lost and it just felt like a competition. With MIAMI, Horatio is in charge and everyone on the team trusts them with their life, because he is just that good at always being there when needed. No one wants his job because he is just so darn good at it. They know their place, and often Horatio will bail them out of trouble because he trusts them and is always on their side. Grissom is just all, “Do you know what this bug means? No? Are you joking with me right now? I can’t tell because I don’t have social skills. Bye.”

8. More techniques and explanations of the lab.

Oh come on. You may know what DB stands for (dead body) and GSR (gun shot residue) and maybe a few other little terms, but for the most part you have no idea what they are taking about. The great thing about MIAMI is that they find creative ways of working into the dialogue what they are doing, or why they are doing it, or the machine they are using. LAS VEGAS doesn’t spend a whole lot of time showing lab procedures which makes MIAMI more informative, and FUN!

7. It is just brighter.

Okay, I need to state the obvious reason it is brighter. CSI MIAMI focuses on the daytime team. CSI LAS VEGAS focuses on the night team. But! Before you say that makes this stupid, I must submit to you that inside the lab it isn’t that dark. They need to invest in some lights! Pronto! The offices are all gray and black, dark and drab with a sort of macabre feeling. MIAMI is all white and clean and crisp and oranges and blues and color! It is a fun, festive environment they work in.

We are CSI: LAS VEGAS! We like to creep around in the dark!

We are CSI: MIAMI! We can actually see what we are doing!

6. Swamp trumps desert.

You learned this with your basic episodes of M*A*S*H. Scenes in the Swamp were significantly better than the scenes in the open desert, healing some sick family the doctor’s couldn’t communicate with. It is just a fact. The go-to location of MIAMI is the everglades complete with gators and many amazing places to dump bodies, hide cars, drown people, etc. LAS VEGAS has the desert, complete with… heat. I hate the heat. I hate deserts. You can die of thirst and heat exhaustion. No thank you.

Nothing but heat and awfulness.

At least if you die here, you die surrounded by pretty trees and nature!

5. MIAMI has an episode telling how the team became the team.

The season premiere of season 8 had continuous flashbacks, complete with characters that have passed away since the first season, and showed how certain people got into the CSI business and how their characters have developed. It was quite entertaining. I loved it.

4. More things happen to the characters.

I originally wanted to put on my list the episode where Ryan gets shot in the eye with a nail gun (season 4 episode 8), because Jonathon Togo’s acting is fantastic, and LAS VEGAS can’t match that. But then I remembered that time Quentin Tarantino came onto LV as a guest director and CSI Nick was buried alive. That episode scared the crap out of me because I do not like watching people in movies and TV shows get buried alive. And if you are thinking this is Uma Thurman in Kill Bill buried alive, you are wrong. This is very different, and a LOT scarier. The episode (s 5 ep 24-25 ) STILL gives me the chills. So I changed this category to more things happen to the characters in MIAMI. Someone is forever getting shot, held hostage, attacked, held at gun-point by ex lovers, etc. LAS VEGAS is all, “do de do de do we like bugs!” See? Boring!

You think YOUR day was bad? This guy has a nail coming out of his eye.

3. MIAMI has more action.

They are all the time blowing things up, shooting people, being shot at, having high speed chases (on land and sea), running after criminals, going to Brazil and killing people… the fun and adventure never ends. Just when you think things are all calm, BAM! Something happens and you are all, “Oh MIAMI. You got me again!” I mean, by the end of one episode Horatio would have caught the suspect, gotten him to talk, gotten him to give up his drug pals, taken down the biggest underground drug rings in Miami, gotten his son out of jail, saved his CSI from impending death, AND have time for a quick moment to gaze out of the window, taking it all in. Grissom? He would still be at his desk wondering what a specific bug was trying to tell him.

2. MIAMI Justice.

Here is a clip. You do not need to know what the setting events are for this scene, you just need to know that this would NEVER happen in LAS VEGAS.

And finally, I present to you the number one reason why you should be watching CSI MIAMI over CSI LAS VEGAS.

1. Horatio’s infamous opening one-liners.

The first season doesn’t have the high quality one-liners because they were still in development at the time. By the end of the first season you see them coming into play, but they just get better (and by better I mean cheesier) as the seasons go on. This is what makes the show worth watching. The first few minutes of the show sets up the murder with Horatio and his team showing up on the scene. Horatio talks to someone, be it another CSI, the lead detective cop guy, or the medical examiner, and somehow they set him up for the PERFECT line. Then, of course, comes the theme song We Don’t Get Fooled Again sung by The Who. The thing that makes these moments so perfect is the timing of when he puts the sunglasses on. I found a video for you (the short version), compiling some of the great one-liners. Enjoy.

I hope this list helps you realize the amazingness that is CSI: MIAMI and the just-okayness that is LAS VEGAS. I know you will make the right decision. If not, I could always get Horatio to persuade you.

Coraline is a fantastically creepy movie that I absolutely loved.

The basic plot: Coraline is a girl who lives in a brand new (at least to her) house. She is ignored by her parents and the situation is quite sad. While she is exploring this new house she comes across this strangely small door. When she goes through the door she steps into an alternate, but better, version of her family. But not everything is as perfect as it seems. (Oooh, mystery!)

I wanted to see this movie in the theater, but I never got a chance. Excuse, excuses I know. I finally watched this the other night and WOW! is it creepy! Very good and quite entertaining, but creepy. I mean, anyone who has button for eyes is creepy in my book. I thought the plot was very creative and I think the pacing was just right. A lot of times with family/ kids type movies like this I find them to be really, really long (case in point: Finding Nemo. After a while I was just like, “Can we find the damn fish already and let me go home? Jeepers!”).

I think the cast was perfectly chosen. The only other time I have seen Terry Hatcher act was when I briefly watched Desperate Housewives (I don’t know what I was thinking either). Despite the utter absurdity of that show, she was pretty decent. I don’t blame her acting for the fact that her character was insanely annoying. She has one of the most wicked awesome voices for this type of character. That may sound like an exaggeration (for which I am widely known) but I am serious Internet. I don’t know off hand (while writing this–during my psychology class I might add, that right there is COMMITMENT) who could have been better for the role of the mother/other mother. And I love Dakota Fanning. And I think the father was that guy who plays the PC in those Mac commercials? I’d never seen him act (besides the commercials) in fact I’d never heard of him, but I liked his goofy voice well enough.

Overall I really enjoyed this movie and you should definitely see it when you have the chance.

So one of the requirements for my French class is that we watch a foreign film. I personally have seen my fair share of foreign films, some of which include Amélie (which I am planning to blog about SOON), Paris Je T’aime (a fabulous film), Hors de Prix (which I blogged about here), I’ve Loved You So Long (quite sad but very moving) and Very Annie Mary (an absolutely fantastic film that everyone should see), to name a few. The foreign language department didn’t want us to miss “valuable” class time to watch a movie, so they required us to show up at 6:00 in a lecture hall and watch this as a class. Forced fun? I’m there!

I didn’t know what this movie was about before seeing it, because our professor refused to tell us. He just said, “trust me it is very funny” so I showed up with little to no expectations. Now, I should preface this review with the disclaimer that it WAS a romcom, which happens to be my favorite genre, so of course I was going to like it. I just didn’t realize how much.

PLOT! The basic, straight-to-the-point plot of the movie (thanks to IMDB) is this guy named Antoine saves this guy Louis from hanging himself, and though in his attempt to get Louis back on his feet, Antoine gets caught in a romantic triangle. SOUNDS LIKE FUN!

CHARACTERS! I would say two and a three-fourths of the characters (out of the four main characters) in this movie were fantastic. The other one and one-fourth were merely tolerable. Our main man Antoine was such a sweet and kind person (general qualities needed to save someone’s life) and Louis was an adorable, overly sensitive, dramatic and crazy person. By the end of the movie I was not sure who I liked more, or more importantly, who I was rooting for to win the girl. Speaking of the girl, Blanche (the lady in our love triangle) was three-fourths tolerable. This is totally possible because a couple times in the movie I wanted to slap her and tell her that you don’t go back to lying, cheating, bastards (hence the one-fourth)! However she too won me over in the end (hence the three-fourths). The only character I didn’t really care for was a gal named Christine. She always seemed a bit angry and too practical for an unrealistic romcom.

ACTORS! Is it a stretch to say that every single actor is this movie was fantastic? Ah, I don’t care; they were. I didn’t recognize any of the names so I had nothing to previously judge them on. All the actors fit their roles, and each was not only convincing, but very entertaining to watch.

BASICALLY! Basically if you enjoy foreign films you should definitely check this one out. Please take note that while this *is* a romcom it is NOT a chick flick. The guys in the lecture hall were laughing just as loudly as us womenfolk. I really recommend this movie; it’s funny, sad, crazy, silly, and the ending is not one you would expect. I can’t wait to add it to my foreign film collection.

So Bullshish has been taken over by horror movies, and while that is all fine and dandy, there are only two-three “horror” movies that I will watch. I just don’t do horror movies. At all. I mean, I recently watched the “horror” episode of Psych and I got scared walking back to my dorm, alone, at night, and Psych is a freaking comedy. But fear not! I have decided that horror musicals are okay, because even if they are scary (which, to be quite honest, this movie was NOT) they still have dancing and singing.

PLOT: A nerdish florist finds his chance for success and romance with the help of a giant man-eating plant who demands to be fed. (Thank you IMDB.) The basic point to this story is that this nerdy guy has this exotic plant and the only way the plant will grow is to be fed human blood. (oooh! scary!) Now here are some important details. The plant shop where everyone important to the story works is losing more money than it is making. Mr. Mushnik (the owner) is out of luck and when the threat of closing the store reaches his ears, Seymour has to do something! Enter the plant he cleverly names Audrey II. The fact that this plant grows at alarming rates interests apparently everyone in the state, and soon the plant shop is BOOMING with business. Seymour is a hero! But as Audrey II begins to grow, the fate of mankind is pushed to the limits. (Cue scary music.)

CHARACTERS: Rick Moranis plays our lovely protagonist Seymour, a nerdy little wimpy kind of guy who is 1) in love with the ditzy, leggy blonde Audrey (Ellen Greene) and 2) growing some sort of scary, evil blood drinking plant. Both these crazy kids work in a plant shop run by the (insane) Mr. Mushnik played by Vincent Gardenia. I must say that the best character by far is Audrey’s boyfriend, a dentist who goes by the name of Orin Scrivello, DDS played by the always amazing Steve Martin. He really is one of the best characters in the movie. And lastly, we have the crazy plant, Audrey II. So remember like… 30 seconds ago when I said this movie was not scary? I’m correcting that statement. The overall movie is not scary in the slightest, EXCEPT for Audrey II’s voice (by Levi Stubbs). That voice is simply terrifying!

MUSIC: The title song is by far my favorite of the movie. The rest were good, but honestly none of them (save two) really stayed with me. The first being Little Shop of Horrors, and the other awesome one Suddenly Seymour! Sometimes I will just be sitting there and I will belt out SUDDENLY SEYMOUR!!!! because in the song he tends to just shout it out. I thought the voices weren’t very strong, and I think that is another reason I wasn’t in a rush to learn the songs. (As I usually am with musicals.) I actually really dislike Audrey’s voice. A lot. And she was in the original stage version of the musical! Insanity, I know.

OVERALL THOUGHTS: I liked the plot of the movie and for the most part enjoyed it. It was a little long and the resolution was absolute insanity. The music was good, but nothing earth shattering as far as musicals go. The actors were great, but sometimes I feel like movie studios tend to cast actors not singers and this is definately a case where they could have found other people. I’d watch it again, probably, but I’m not exactly in a hurry to do so. And don’t let the “horror” in the title fool you; while the thought of a plant feeding off blood to survive is terrifying, the movie was not.